This is funny -- a new site called www.talktoaliens.com now offers intergalactic long-distance telephone service. Simply dial their toll number and record your message. They will then beam it towards a region of high-density stars on a common frequency in the hopes of reaching any intelligent extraterrestrial civilizations that be may listening. Assuming aliens are listening perhaps we ought to be sending them messages like "Send Help Now!" or, "No Vacancy," or more pessimistically "Look Elsewhere: Humans taste bad and make poor zoo specimens."